老子在末世第一天，就没急着去抢丧尸头。

我叫林风，一个三十出头的社畜，末世前在写字楼拧螺丝。但谁TM能想到，上班摸鱼看小说，刚看到主角手撕丧尸王那章，就听见窗外“轰隆”一声巨响。

玻璃炸碎，灰尘漫天，街上瞬间乱了套。我吓尿了，第一反应不是跑，而是下意识地摸向键盘——还好老子是个游戏宅，习惯性摸出耳机戴上，打开游戏备用账号，还好刚才顺手开了直播。

“兄弟们，末世来了啊，看我直播打丧尸！”我扯着嗓子吼，忘了自己都吓傻了。直播间瞬间爆了，弹幕刷得飞起：“卧槽！真的来了！”“主播牛逼！”“这是什么新手村？”

那时候还没人知道，丧尸病毒扩散得有多快。我只知道，窗外不远处，一个穿着白大褂的人，突然变成了血肉模糊的怪物，嘶吼着扑向下一个路人。惨叫声还没响完，他就扑倒在地，但身体还在抽搐。

我咽了口唾沫，赶紧拉上窗帘。 Checking the news on my phone, wow, the world's gone to hell. Viruses broke out in China, then Europe, then it was global. The government panicked, quarantine, martial law, whatever.

But what the hell is this world coming to? I grabbed a bag, shoving in my phone, snacks, and a map—what use was a map in this mess? Still, better safe than sorry. I locked the door, grabbed my bike, and pedaled like hell out of the office complex.

The streets were chaos. Cars crashed, people screamed, some fought, some ran. I'm Lin Feng, I don't fight, I'm a goddamn office worker, what the hell am I supposed to do?